so unless we wanna take four or five showers every day, we're gonna need some other options here. That eliminates the need for a goo glove. You can have a lovely time tuggin' the tiger in the shower each morning. Now you might be thinking to yourself, 'But Uncle Andy, what do I do with all that pearl jam if I can't spew it into Mr. So, first order of business: no more socks. Problem now is every time we jerk the gherkin, we end up with a lot of unwanted, sticky white stuff everywhere, right? Right. Your little body's changing, and it's all good, believe me. Thanks, Carol.Īll right, listen closely, I'm not gonna beat around the bush. thank for raising yourself these past 18 years. can you stop talking for a second? Could yoy please be quiet and listen? Just listen. The Sterling Celebration doesn't come with butter cookies, but if you like to add them, I certainly can do that. Enjoy the dried apricots and butter cookies. Dear Silas: If you never see me again, I've probably been murdered. Jesus, that sounds like bullshit, doesn't it? Um. Now, what would you like the card to say? Shane, if Mom would have worked at the Gap instead of selling drugs, do you still think you would have killed somebody? We would be in the exact same spot we're in now. He would have grown increasingly alienated, and ended up stabbing the mailman or my manager at the Gap. He would have lost his virginity to a skanky girl, or a skanky girl duo. Your brother still would have had rage issues. You would have struggled with your grades, smoked weed, dropped out, gotten your G.E.D.
You probably still would have knocked up a girl, only this one maybe would have been blind instead of deaf, or missing a limb. You and Shane would have gone to even lousier public schools.
Shoot me down gifted lyrics zip#
We would have to sell the house, move to a very different zip code. What if you had gotten a real job after Dad died and we could have skipped all this sh*t? You really believe we could keep this up for any serious amount of time? So work on your control now, while you're a solo artist - you'll be playing some long, happy duets in the future. It reduces stress, it enhances immune function. There's no such thing as polishing the raised scepter of love too much. In bed - soft t-shirt, perhaps a downy hand towel of your very own that you don't mind tossing after tossing. Alright, moving on - when you tug your Thomas on the toilet - ffft - shoot right into the bowl. So save your allowance and invest in some soon. Also, olive oil, moisturizer, honey, spit, butter, hair conditioner, and Vaseline can all be used for lube. Now for extra credit, warm up the peel in the microwave. Step two: Slip the peel over your Randy Johnson and start pitching.
From there we move on to more lubricated flack-catchers - specificially, bananas.
Shoot me down gifted lyrics skin#
They can be rough and dry on such soft, sensitive skin and it can stick to your dick head like a f***in' band-aid - ouch. Perfectly acceptable backstop for all that Creamy Italian. But, the day is long, masturbation's fun, so unless we want to take 4 or 5 showers every day, we're gonna need some other options. You can have a lovely time tugging the tiger in the shower each morning - that eliminates the need for a goo glove. Now you might be thinking to yourself, "But, Uncle Andy, what do I do with all that pearl jam if I can't spew it into Mr. They're expensive, gumming up the works plumming-wise. every time we jerk the gerkin, we get a lot of unwanted sticky white stuff everywhere, right? Right. Your little body's changing - it's all good, believe me.
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